I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
