found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
