She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you never un-have a 4some
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
