what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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