I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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