at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
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If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
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My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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