google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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