It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
