I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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