so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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