i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
