when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
