It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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