Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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