it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
