Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
