I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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