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• (516): View more from New York

  I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  How did you manage that?

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  lol... jersey girls rock

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

  Fav 23 912 4860

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal

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• (210): View more from Texas

  You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.

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• (559): View more from California

  Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.

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• (818): View more from California

  You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?

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