Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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