I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
