; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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