We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
