you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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