We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
