I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
