whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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