I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
