And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
