we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
