The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize