I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
