you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
