Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize