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just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
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