i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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