I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.