She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??