Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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