Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
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This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE