I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
and she was petting her beer can
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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