i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize