Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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