YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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