Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
