Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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