Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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