I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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