You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
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Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
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Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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