any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
