If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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