I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
