Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
