I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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