idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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