is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
