What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
