Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
