Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm both gender and math confused
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
