If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
