It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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