i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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