Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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