Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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