i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
