ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
