the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
