I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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