Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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