and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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