mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
50% drunk capacity currently
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize